


Of Ducks and Corkscrews

by pinkhairnoshoes



Series: Riding in Cars with Captain America [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Don't Judge Me, Ducks, Fluff and Humor, Funny, I Don't Even Know, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Pinching, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Teen Peter Parker, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 23:51:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhairnoshoes/pseuds/pinkhairnoshoes
Summary: This is my little series about Steve Rogers picking up his two adoptive children up from school each day. Together with Tony Stark he's adopted Peter Parker and my original character Beverly. The two children like to ask FRIDAY or their Pops strange questions on the ride home. It usually ends up with Steve being upset and scolding them. They're just little short drabbles.In this one, Peter has a question about ducks and their corkscrew penises.





	Of Ducks and Corkscrews

**Author's Note:**

> This contains inappropriate humor and is probably offensive.
> 
> I have an OC I want to include in this but I haven’t introduced her in anything yet. I wanted someone for Peter to annoy Steve with. I imagine Steve picking them up from school or other activities. She’s Peter’s younger sister but they are only like a year apart. I also wanted to give Steve a daughter. I don’t buy the Captain America as a virgin thing. I feel like he did eventually date some woman at Shield that Nat set him up with. Steve breaks up with her after discovering he’s gay. He ends up with Tony shortly afterwards. She find out she’s pregnant. She decides not to tell Steve. Some things happen and he ends up adopting Beverly.

Steve sighs as they hit traffic and he has to slow down. He glances over at Peter who is sitting in the passenger seat before looking in the rear-view to see his daughter staring out her window with headphones in her ears.

“Hey FRIDAY! I have a question,” Peter says.

“Sure. Go ahead Master Peter.”

“Can ducks open a bottle of wine with their corkscrew penises?”

“Peter!” Steve yells as FRIDAY starts to answer. Beverly is pulling her headphones out of her ears and focusing on what’s happening in the front seat.

“I don’t know the answer to that, would you like me to ask Boss?”

“No! Cancel!” Steve yells.

“Don’t ask Dad. Bring up the web result.”

Peter starts to scroll through the display when Steve slaps his hand away. “Stop that! Don’t make FRIDAY look up duck penises.”

Beverly is leaning over the console of the middle seat trying to read the screen too.

Peter clicks a link and Steve doesn’t catch the title because a car is trying to merge into their lane as traffic starts moving again. 

****

##### 8 Sex Positions That Will Blow His Mind and Destroy His Penis | HuffPost

Steve does notice as he hits another light and has to stop. He sees a crude sketch of a naked man and woman engaging in sex. He reaches out and pinches Peter’s inner thigh. “Get that off the screen now!”

Beverly sits back in her seat and presses herself against the door in case Steve decides to pinch her next. 

Peter is laughing in-between crying ‘ow’, as he exits out of the search results. 

“Fucking Tony. Can’t set up parental controls right.”

Peter hides his face in his hands as he continues laughing. He pulls out his phone and texts his sister.

Peter: It was worth it  
Beverly: Yes! I still wonder the answer though


End file.
